Why is he a doctor again?

 

 

Now everyone knows it’s a doctor you see, when you’re under the weather or struggling to keep your legs together, to find a cure and be free. But one doctor did not take his job to seriously and for his patients caused great misery. For all he did was spew nonsense and rhymes, take up valuable time and ignored the patient’s whines and whines.

One man entered and cried ‘I have a broken leg’.

To which the doctor replied, ‘try eating scrambled egg.’

‘Scrambled egg, no I need serous treatment!’

‘But sir I chicken from the farm has already been sent.’

Another time a woman came in feeling quite faint, whose forehead was dripping and face like white paint.

‘I don’t understand want makes be so ill?’

‘Well I could easily prescribe you a pill. Instead how about we try out a new contraption, that goes whizz bang, hip hop and provides great satisfaction.’

‘I just want the pill,’ said the woman short of breath. ‘Please doctor I feel like warm death.’

‘Well what about exercise and better diet, I got sponsored by this company so I recommend you buy it. If not then try some holistic medicine and see if crystals and lies are gonna make you healthy and thin.’

‘Please stop this mocking and try to be professional.’

‘Sorry sweet cheeks it’s out of my control.’

The medical board regretted giving a medical licence to Dr Seuss and for let him give patience so much abuse. The biggest issue they had was the sexual harassment to which the doctor replied:

‘I refuse to lament… sugar tits’

The Marty Man

The Marty man, the Marty man, has come to play a game,
That torments your heart and drives you slowly insane,
Because the monsters in your childhood were fictional and plenty,
But you can’t escape the Marty man even though you’re over twenty.
He takes all of your dreams and fantasies,
Beautifully crafted into our reality,
For us to adore and watch with awe,
That we shall applause and demand for more,
Until in the last minutes unprovoked,
His actions leave us all silent and chocked,
The Marty man has brought you pain,
For your beloved characters die on screen again.
The Marty man, the Marty man has eyes everywhere,
Even if it seems he does not have the time to spare,
So be kind to strangers and pay your fees before they’re overdue,
Or the Marty man might write a chapter that was inspired by you.